Logan (Open Pen Critique)

 Note: Our first Open Pen Critique, don't forget to comment your thoughts!

~Logan gasped heavily. With a twist and a flick, he escaped his opponent’s grasp and floored him long enough for a breather. With a lunge, Logan was back into the fight, it had to be finished now or never.

*Samuel grunted as his opponent, Logan landed on top of his back. The man was better than he had expected, but not too much better- yet. Logan had become a real threat to the empire and he must be eliminated before The Plan was carried out. Suddenly, Sam’s thoughts reverted to his child hood. Martha was on top of his back and he couldn’t get up. As a last resort, young Samuel kicked at his sister’s back to be let up.

~Logan landed on Samuel’s back with a thud. He disliked fighting, he had had enough of it in his younger days when he worked for The Plan. He wouldn’t be fighting now, if it weren’t for The Plan. If Logan lost this battle, millions of people would lose their lives.

*Samuel kicked hard as Logan jerked his chin up by his thin black hair.

~Pain screamed through Logan’s bionic arm and it lost its grip on Samuel’s hair. His right hand caught it but the damage had been done.

*Sam felt the grip falter and took his chance. Ignoring Logan’s horrible scream of pain, he squeezed around under the man’s straddling knees and punched upward into his stomach. Logan collapsed to the side and Samuel was up in an instant.

~Logan felt Samuel’s iron fists collide with his stomach and fought back the urge to throw-up. The force propelled him off Samuel and into the dust as he felt the man practically flip onto his feet and reach for a gun. Both began the fight with a revolver, but those had been knocked out of the game within minutes. Logan panted on his back and wondered why the daylight sun appeared to be nearing twilight.

*Samuel eyed Logan. He had learned since their last encounter, he had learned much. Samuel was waiting for a surprise, a dangerous trick that could turn the tables, but nothing happened. The threatening bionic arm lay lifeless, thrown at a painful looking angle and blood trickled down the side of Logan’s cheek, he was obviously delirious with pain. Samuel felt sick.

~Logan coughed and tried to shift his left shoulder off the rock it had landed on. He was waiting for a crack and then he would be released from this pain. Everyone knew Samuel left no survivors, especially Logan. When he finally caught his breath, he realized that Samuel wasn’t in sight. Logan coward into the dirt, wishing he could become invisible, Samuel had him where he wanted, he could do anything right now. Absolutely anything, and usually, that was signing your death warrant.

*Samuel speed through the trees, panting as his thoughts raced faster than his legs could go. He never bothered with the plans made higher up. He just followed. He never tried to understand motives. He just worked. He never tried to think for himself when on the job. He learned early second thoughts caused failure. But now, but what? Logan was the enemy, he would have been defeated, but as he reached for the revolver to put the man out of his misery, Samuel realized something. It was an unwanted realization, a realization that would put him out of a job, home, and would likely kill him. He realized The Plan was wrong. It had hit him over the head. The thought had left him dazed. The knowledge gave him emotion once again. That was why he was racing through the trees to his car. In it would be a First-Aid kit and he hoped a disposable phone.

~Laying in the clearing, Logan finally allowed himself to pass out; if Samuel wanted to kill him, it didn’t matter if he was awake to see it.

*Samuel pounded on the windshield of his truck. His keys had escaped his pocket while he dashed through the woods. His eye caught a large rock near the rear tire. Without a second thought, the way he had trained, he snatched it and smashed the driver’s window. An insane drive propelled him as he scrambled through the glass fragments to reach the disposable phone under the floor mat. He snatched it and hit the lock button as he tore his shirt on the jagged glass. Stumbling to the back seat, Samuel fumbled with the glove compartment. A First-Aid kit was produced and the phone was slipped into it. Finally, he could sprint back to the clearing Logan was laying in. What am I doing? What is Logan going to do. By now, he’ll have a revolver. I’m going to be shot before I can get this to him… Samuel had never realized how normal it was for a human being to think for himself, all he knew now was that he was doing the correct thing and would likely be killed for it.

~Logan woke with that screaming pain shooting through his body again. Samuel was leaning over him with a wide strip of cloth dangling from his mouth. With a final effort, Logan kicked his leg up into Samuel’s thigh. Samuel grunted and leaned heavily on the hand gripping the bionic arm. Logan nearly shrieked with the pain but Samuel slipped his heavy hand off the machine and onto the ground.

*Sam winced. His thigh smarted, but to hear a man like Logan scream like a child was unnerving, terrifying even. He slid his arm under Logan’s back and proceeded to tie the useless metal to the man’s body. When he finished, he leaned over Logan, trying to make eye contact.

~Logan stared fixedly at a tree to his left, trying to ignore the pain enveloping his life. Samuel was towering over him. Why he was still alive, he couldn’t tell. “Logan, listen.” Samuel was speaking now, his dry voice penetrated the unusual silence that enveloped the woods. “Logan, listen! I need you to- Logan, you have to trust me. I…” Logan turned his head to face Samuel.

“You what.” His voice was deep and cold. Icy cold.

“Logan, can you walk?” Samuel sounded despairing. Logan glared at him and tried to blow his blond hair out of his eyes. Samuel brushed it away for him with strangely gently fingers. “Logan, I need to get you out of the woods, I don’t know what is up with that…thing, but I can’t fix it and it needs a repairman.”

Logan frowned more. “You won’t get a chance to take me back for questioning, make no doubt about it.”

Samuel bit his lip. “That’s not why I want you to-” He stopped and swallowed. “Logan, have I ever lied? Sure, I’ve been on the wrong side the whole time, but have I lied?” Logan twitched his head to agree with him. “Well, maybe I- I don’t know what happened, but I’ll help you. I will, and you can’t say I’m untrustworthy, this’ll be the first time I’ve failed to carry out a mission and you know it. Let me help you.”

Logan stared distrustfully at the proffered hand. “Why.” His voice was husky and he almost choked on the word.

“Just- because! I know The Plan is bad, I know you’re the opposite of the plan, I can’t explain it any more than that. It- I can’t make it words, please just- just trust me.” Samuel felt himself being scrutinized by Logan.

“Fine.” Logan muttered and he held his hand out jerkily to be helped up. Samuel sighed and hauled him up gracefully.

“My truck is that way, I don’t know where to go and I can’t use my good phone or they’ll trace me. Will you be able to stay awake and give me directions?” Logan clutched Sam until the dizziness relaxed a little and he reached for his bionic arm.

“Sam, are you sure you’re…sane?” Sam looked pained.

“Logan, I can’t explain it, but it makes it no less true. I am sure that you’re right. I never thought of The Plan being right, but I want to think about you being right. That’s the only way for me to…justify any of this. Maybe I wasn’t sane then. My life was a gray fog then anyway. Now it’s clear.”

Logan laughed softly and flicked open a panel on his arm. “Here, I can’t see it, so find the green switch and flip it neutral. It will stop the arm from sending ‘pain signals’ to my brain and I should be able to make the drive.”

Samuel gingerly pressed the green switch and stepped back quickly. He didn’t trust the metal arm under any circumstances, whether it appeared broken or not. He glanced back at Logan and was surprised to see his face still screwed up in pain.

“Alright, Sam, you’ve got to carry through now, my side has our exact location and someone on his way to meet us. Let’s go back to your truck. You better carry through; this arm is rigged to self-destruct if I die. Keep that in mind.”

Samuel nodded grimly and led Logan to his truck, crossing his fingers that the spare key was under the floor mat.

“You don’t mind, do you Sam? I didn’t trust you yet, but you have to admit, there was precious little to trust in you.”

“No, Logan, I wouldn’t have trusted me either.”

The two men chuckled softly and Sam slapped Logan’s bionic arm in friendship.

Bio: MickeyMac is a young writer with a dream to become published. She runs a blog where she posts fiction, poetry, prompts, writing exercises, and the occasional update on life. MickeyMac lives in Alaska with five siblings, who often inspire her work (impossible though that may seem). A follower of Christ, MickeyMac strives to shine light in the bookstore with clean Young Adult and Children’s Fiction.
 She blogs at: mickeymacblog.wordpress.com

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